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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26613328">ghosts of the past</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/treee/pseuds/treee'>treee</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Sherlock (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bullying, Cuddling &amp; Snuggling, Domestic, Hurt/Comfort, Lowercase, M/M, Mycroft To The Rescue, Not Beta Read</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 05:20:33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,419</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26613328</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/treee/pseuds/treee</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>when john learns some truths about sherlock's past, he doesn't intend to let them remain undiscussed.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Sherlock Holmes/John Watson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>59</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>ghosts of the past</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>i wrote this for a friend of mine, so i hope this meets her expectations.</p><p>this was written in one sitting and barely edited, so the quality might be questionable-.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>it was an awkward silence that hung in the air of the office, the silence of two people who neither knew each other very well nor had anything to discuss. john supposed that he ought to get used to this sooner rather than later, this,  meaning sherlock's habit to run off on impromptu investigations through the entire building and leaving him alone with the investment banker they had once again been consulted by. the same bank that they had been at years ago already to investigate a murder now just so happened to have another one on their plate. dangerous lives these bankers had these days.</p><p>he recalled their conversation from that case, one of the first ones they had solved together, or rather that sherlock had solved during his friendship with john. in that brief exchange of words the bank employee had mentioned that he had in fact attended the same university as sherlock and john cleared his throat. "so, you and sherlock went to school together?" he inquired, trying to break the tense silence even if it was a rather weak attempt at it.</p><p>"university, yes," sebastian replied and leaned back in his leather chair with his usual suave grin. "oh, the stories i could tell. everyone hated him back then, you know," he spoke as if he was thinking of various memories to back up the claim at the same time. </p><p>john involuntarily stiffened at that statement, suddenly realizing he didn't feel quite comfortable knowing that. ever since sherlock and him had grown closer he felt a weird sense of protectiveness for the detective, a feeling that perhaps stemmed from sherlock's tendency to not only disregard his own health in favour of cases but also jump head-first into danger during these cases. though he always claimed to have a plan, john allowed himself to doubt that. "yes, yes, you mentioned that," he replied and nodded. "because he deduced things about you and the others, right?" </p><p>"right, he seemed to know every little thing about everyone after only taking a glance at them," sebastian huffed and folded his hands on his desk. "he told this girl that her boyfriend was cheating on her, and didn't bat an eye when she stormed off crying. hell, he didn't even seem to understand what he had done wrong. he was always a weirdo, that guy," he said, his statement followed by a brief chuckle.</p><p>"yes, he tends to do that sometimes," john agreed, really only to have something to say at all. he felt like he was hearing things not meant for his ears. the last time they had spoken, sherlock had stopped sebastian before he could mention any details, but now with him not present, john felt like he might just hear a lot more of the things that sherlock would rather not have him know about.</p><p>"i'd still like to know how he figured all that out," sebastian mused and huffed in amusement. "i bet he still does it too, he never stopped in university even when people were teasing him about it at every corner," he chuckled and shook his head.</p><p>"people teased him about it?" john asked reflexively, sounding very serious all of a sudden. though it shouldn't come as a surprise to him, especially knowing how even grown adults reacted to it sometimes, he still wondered how bad it had been for him in his youth.</p><p>"oh, god, yes. and teasing is still putting it mildly," sebastian recounted and leaned back once again, making some gestures with his hands as he spoke. "you know the deal, you irritate the wrong group of people and suddenly nobody wants anything to do with you. the more you annoy them the worse it gets. people called him freak all the time, even sprayed it on his locker a few times. pretty sure some guy beat him up because he accused his girlfriend of lying about being a virgin. it was the whole package deal, people knocking his folders out of his hands, throwing paper at him, all of that," he finished his anecdote.</p><p>john realized he had started digging his nails into his thigh with an uncomfortable force while listening and swallowed the harsh words threatening to escape his mouth.</p><p>sebastian in the meanwhile had turned his gaze to john once again. "at some point he disappeared. didn't show up to class anymore, locker empty, name no longer in the attendance lists. somebody apparently figured out from a relative who was a therapist that they had a male youth on suicide watch exactly during that timespan before his name was wiped off the lists and not even the doctors could figure out where he had gone. if that doesn't sound like something sherlock would do then-"</p><p>"yes, thank you," john pressed out between clenched jaws, effectively interrupting sebastian mid-sentence. he rose to his feet and nodded curtly. "i think i've heard quite enough, i'll see how far sherlock is with his investigations," he spoke cooly and left the office, leaving a quite taken-aback sebastian behind.</p><p>on his way out he couldn't catch a glimpse of sherlock and sebastian's secretary kindly informed him that the detective had left in a hurry almost ten minutes ago. john left the bank building and took a cab home, wondering on the way whether or not he'd still see sherlock that day. no matter how often he had told him not to run off on his own, his partner still seemed unused to the notion of having someone with him during his investigations. it was only natural, john supposed, after years of working alone.</p><p>the flat was empty when john set foot into it and he sighed, shrugging off his jacket and leaving it on the coat rack by the door. routinely as always he made tea, making a second cup even though he knew it was unlikely sherlock would arrive in time to be able to drink it while it was still warm.</p><p>×××</p><p>when sherlock returned to the flat after providing scotland yard with the solution to the case he found the living room empty. hanging his coat next to john's jacket he considered that the other should at least be home, the fresh cup in the sink and the changed position of the laptop supporting that claim. </p><p>retrieving some clean clothes from his bedroom he then headed into the adjacent bathroom. nowadays he didn't use the bedroom a lot anymore, more often than not opting to sleep in john's bedroom with the other man instead. the only times he still used his bedroom for actually sleeping was when the two had had an argument or sherlock returned home at such a ridiculously late hour that he didn't feel like possibly waking john while slipping into bed.</p><p>shrugging off his clothes he stepped into the shower, keeping it brief and soon stepping out of it again. after drying himself off and putting on fresh clothes he exited the bathroom, and as he entered the main room this time, he was greeted by john sitting on the couch and watching telly. </p><p>the man looked up from the screen and watched how sherlock busied himself in the kitchen, probably preparing tea. "you got the guy?" he asked, already knowing the answer. he knew sherlock well enough to know that if he hadn't done so, he wouldn't be in the flat now, showered and calmly making tea. or well, as calmly as sherlock holmes could get.</p><p>it was something sherlock had picked up on himself, had already picked up on when he had entered the living room. the telly, the useless questions, the too long gaze - john wanted to talk about something but didn't know how to voice his thoughts. "what did he tell you?" sherlock asked, not looking away from the cup in front of him while he waited for the kettle to boil.</p><p>john seemed surprised, confused even, his voice told him that. "what did who tell me now?" he asked, grabbing the remote to turn down the volume of the tv.</p><p>"sebastian," sherlock gave as a curt response. "i take it you didn't just silently sit in his office the entire time, he isn't the person to do that," he continued.</p><p>"who says he told me anything, i wasn't in his office for that long," john shot back and leaned against the couch cushions, wondering how long he'd be able to play this game. exactly until now, it turned out a few minutes later.</p><p>"no, you weren't. i assume you left not too long after me which would still leave you with a long enough timespan that a chatterbox such as sebastian could fill with countless pieces of useless information," sherlock responded.</p><p>"you /assume/ that i left shortly after you? sherlock holmes is making assumptions?" he asked teasingly, hoping to loosen up the situation but finding that the tone of his voice wasn't quite recognised by the detective.</p><p>"i don't assume, john, i know. your laptop changed position but is also entirely cooled off, the thing is old, takes ages to get back to this level of coldness so you used it at least a few hours ago. your jacket is cold, you put it there a considerable while ago, and you wouldn't go out without a jacket in this weather so you were at home. the tea you left for me-"</p><p>"alright, alright, sherlock stop," john interrupted him and sherlock closed his mouth, deflating a little bit. "i was only trying to tease you," he explained.</p><p>"oh," sherlock responded simply and once again took the excuse of focusing his attention on the now whistling kettle. "tea?" he asked, already taking out two cups before john had responded with "yes please" and filling them both with a routinely ease.</p><p>taking both cups with him he went over to the couch, handing john his cup before sitting down next to him. they both drank a few sips of their respective cups, the quiet noises from the tv the only thing that provided some distraction, though both men's attentions lay elsewhere.</p><p>eventually john cleared his throat and sherlock knew that that meant that he had decided it was time to confront whatever was on his mind. "he told me about your time at school," john stated and took a sip of his tea.</p><p>sherlock looked at the tv screen in front of him although he barely paid attention to what was happening on it. "did he, how predictable. though i didn't expect anything better from him," sherlock commented in his usual nonchalant tone, watching how the police in the movie began chasing after the criminal.</p><p>"you weren't exactly popular?" john inquired further, not acknowledging sherlock's comment. "he told me people didn't really like you," he proceeded, carefully watching sherlock's face for any hint of reaction.</p><p>the reaction didn't come and sherlock only shrugged, eyes still trained on the tv. "does it surprise you. most people don't like me, why would it have been different back then," he said.</p><p>"they bullied you, sherlock, quite badly from what i heard," john finally exclaimed, a little exasperated by the lack of explanation from sherlock's side. though he hadn't expected the other to immediately talk about all the bad things during his time at school, his constant dismissal wore his patience thin. but only because he was concerned and wanted to hear sherlock's side of things.</p><p>sherlock's grip on his cup tightened the tiniest bit and he finally turned his head to look at john. "does that surprise you?" he repeated his question from before, his eyebrows knitting together in an expression that was both questioning and confused. "i am different, john, people don't like people who aren't like them," he said as if it was the most simple thing in the world. he didn't quite understand what john didn't understand about the story.</p><p>john swallowed and put his cup down on the coffee table. "just because you are different doesn't give them the right to bully you," he spoke more softly this time. "he also mentioned that you were suddenly gone from school, and that there were rumours that you had, suicidal intentions," he said, deciding to go all in now that they were already talking. if the topic drifted off, he doubted he'd be able to properly discuss it again anytime soon.</p><p>sherlock averted his gaze briefly, pondering whether there was a use to try to lie about it before opening his mouth to speak. "i had, certain thoughts, that much is true," he said and glanced over at john. "mycroft figured out what was going on, of course he did, but i don't think he grasped the full extent of it. eventually i talked to him about it, the bullying and the thoughts, and if you think mycroft scary now you wouldn't want to know how he reacted when he heard. he pulled all registers after that, removed me from school, got me therapy and made sure my name wasn't anywhere to be found," he explained and stopped briefly to collect his thoughts. "it got better after that."</p><p>"christ, sherlock," john mumbled after the detective had finished recounting the story. "you-, you know you didn't deserve any of the things they did to you, right? because you're brilliant, and they can bugger off if they are too ignorant to see that," he said and it drew a small smile from sherlock.</p><p>sherlock would be lying if he had said that the semi-regular insults thrown his way didn't affect him in some way, but at least these days he had someone who still listened to his deductions like they were the most astounding thing in the universe, even after years of hearing them again and again. it was good to know that there were people now that appreciated his actions, even if they did so begrudgingly or with a certain hint of annoyance. not just john, but also the rest of them - mrs. hudson, lestrade, molly, the entire bunch of them. </p><p>"yes, i know."</p><p>putting his cup down next to john's, sherlock leaned against the man next to him. wrapping one arm around the lanky detective, john fished for the remote with the other and turned the volume of the movie back up.</p><p>"looks like we're just in time to watch the exciting part," john commented and settled back into the couch, pulling sherlock closer as he did. </p><p>"it was the groom's brother."</p><p>"bloody hell, sherlock!"</p>
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